IC INBOX | @erku

[leetle]

Hey! It's Jester!
I can't pick up right now, but I'll reply really soon, okay? Don't miss me too much.
...doot doo doo beep boop!





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[leetle]

[There are so many things bouncing through Jester's head right now that she's having a hard time actually saying anything useful. Truly, she wishes she could just go back to sleep, but it wouldn't be fair to Fjord if she didn't listen to his whole explanation after dropping a bomb on him like this.]

Fjord...I don't really know what to say. I'm sorry? [The next part of her words is muffked as she presses her hands to her face.]

Why do I feel like I should have just kept my mouth shut.

[halforc]

You don't have anything to be sorry about, don't say that.

[ Slumping where he stands, he plants a hand on a hip and covers his eyes as he takes a deep breath. All he knows is that he hates the island and wants to go home. ]

I'm the one fucking everything up, no matter where I go. I'm sorry.

[leetle]

[She just shakes her head, dragging her hands down her face, her tail thumping restlessly at her side.]

You didn't fuck anything up, Fjord. You didn't know. That's why I didn't say anything in the first place, I...didn't want you to feel guilty for finding other people.

[She finally, finally doesn't hide the way her voice creaks on that last phrase, the tears threatening to spill forth making themselves heard.]

I just couldn't pretend anymore.

[halforc]

[ The distance between them closes as he hears her voice tremble and he steps over to wrap her up in a hug, holding on tight because it's the only good thing he can do. His own voice sounds strangled when he talks, muffled by her hair. ]

You're one of my best friends, you know that?

[leetle]

I know. [Her voice is small and definitely tear-filled; she lets the sting of rejection wash over her just as easily as she lets Fjord hug her.]

That’s good, too. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be, you know? The timing was just...off.

[halforc]

[ His whole life is one big sigh. If he rubs the damp in the corners of his eyes off on her horns that's just, well. It just is. ]

The timing of all of this sucks, yes.

[ His hand runs up and down her back, reluctant to move away just yet. ]

... For the record, you've never needed longer horns to be beautiful.

[leetle]

[Jester lets out a single, soft sob, her shoulders shaking a little bit with the effort of restraining herself from all-out crying in front of Fjord. Her head tilts to the side, slightly toward him, so he can actually hear her answer.]

I know. I w-was always pretty hot.

[halforc]

[ His hand comes up to pet her hair, an arm around her waist gathering Jester in. Fjord settles back against the stone of the stoop, leaning there instead of her so she isn't pinned. ]

We can't tell you every day, it'll go to your head.

[ His nose bumps her forehead. ]

[leetle]

[Fjord has such a way of making things seem okay, hugging away her worry, always trying to look on the bright side. It can be frustrating at times, sure, but it's also very comforting at the moment. If she can just let things settle between them, maybe she can go be miserable in her room for the rest of the night where nobody needs to be burdened with it.]

I know.

[It's all a little too raw and real, right now, so she pulls away before long, gently extricating herself from Fjord, sniffling.]

I'm sorry. I think I just...need to be alone.

[halforc]

Of course.

[ He lets her go, straightening up. It's the weirdest feeling, still having a crush but having it diluted beneath other emotions yet still remain, and he suspects he's done enough damage for one night. ]

I'm sorry tonight went sideways, I ... I missed you. I thought we could talk ...

[ If he had known how Jester felt, he wouldn't have been so cavalier about it. He's been so oblivious, so stupid. ]

I'll sleep on the couch downstairs, it's comfy enough. I don't want to wake the house.

[leetle]

It's not your fault.

[It isn't his fault, and she knows that even though her brain wants to twist it around and blame it on him. It's better than blaming it on herself for not being enough, not being what he wants, not being—

She shudders as she hugs her arms around herself, and lifts the corner of her mouth in a half-smile, trying not to let I missed you worm its way into her aching heart.]

You can sleep wherever you want, Fjord. You were here first, remember?

[halforc]

[ His answering smile is just as soft as they head inside, latching the door behind. ]

Oh, the house is nothing like it was, I could sleep on the floor and I'd still be warm nowadays. It's alright, there are blankets on the couch, and I ... might have some of Caduceus's tea before I sleep.

[ To brood over in the dark. ]

Get some rest, Jester. It's late.

[leetle]

[She just shrugs in response, and heads for the stairs up to her room. She pauses, glancing down at him, and nods.]

Yeah, Fjord. You, too.

[She doesn't know what tomorrow will be like, if she'll even see him when she wakes up, but right now she needs to just...get it off her chest. Cry. Maybe vent a little bit. She pauses in front of the door to Veth and Caleb's room...