leetle | IC INBOX

yeah you're right i am pretty great 3;)
you're my favorite roommate too!
what are you doing right now? do you want to hang out??

...did you make your little smiley face have horns? fuck that's cute.
just got back from a run, not doing anything now. let's hang out, what do you wanna do?????

yep! 3:)
ooh you know what i bet would feel amazing after your run?
breaking in the new rooftop hot tub!!!

fuck that's cute.

That sounds fucking amazing, actually. Wanna meet me up there?

aww thanks beau!!
yes please!
i'm going to bring fancy drinks ok??

hell yeah. I can even catch a buzz off them now. I've got the snacks.

oh ok i'll put alcohol in yours!!
see you soon ♡

[True to her word, when Beau arrives on the Neinhaus's new rooftop patio, Jester is waiting in the hot tub with a tray of drinks sitting on the side. A tall glass of chocolate milk with a pink umbrella in hers, and something orangey-pink with a blue umbrella in it for Beau. Leaning against the far side of the hot tub, her arms spread wide, and wearing a hot pink off-the shoulder bikini, Jester grins at Beau.]

Welcome to the party, hope you're hungry because we have a cotton candy machine!

[Beau has a plate of cupcakes and is wearing a bright blue one piece. she looks at Jester in puzzlement.]

What...is that? Is that milk???

Edited 2021-07-20 04:29 (UTC)

[Jester grins and picks up her glass, raising it in a cheery salute.]

Chocolate milk! Yours is, ummm, vodka and orange juice and then I dumped some of the juice from a jar of cherries in there. Are those chocolate or vanilla?

[Those cupcakes are about to be destroyed.]

[she takes a mouthful. it's sweet--cloyingly so--but that's par for the Jester course. she tries not to wince, gives Jes a thumbs up]

It's good, I like it.

[glancing at her cupcakes]

I think they're half and half. The blue ones are chocolate, pink is vanilla. Want one of each?

Yes please! Get in, get in, the water is so nice and bubbly.

[The jets are, um, conveniently placed at intervals along the bottoms of the seats, but Jester has situated herself between two of them. She reaches forward for the plate of cupcakes, setting it next to the drinks on the edge of the tub and then peeling the wrapper off a pink one.]

Isn't this amazing up here? Caleb really went all out, didn't he?

[she navigates around the jets, but makes note of them for the future, gracefully climbing in and settling in, as close to Jester as she can get without sitting on a jet]

Mmm, fuck, this is nice. might even beat the ones he had in the mansion at home.

[peeling her own cupcake--blue--and beginning to lick stripes very slowly in the frosting]

I think the lights really make it, honestly.

[And being outdoors is pretty unbeatable, if you ask her. She devours half her cupcake in one bite, humming happily to herself.]

So... [She peers at Beau over the steam rising from the water.] How are you settling in?

Yeah, the lights are nice.

[she is looking directly at Jester]

Uhhhhhh...good, I guess. Catching everybody up on the shit they missed at home, getting caught up on the shit I missed here. Testing the limits of how drunk I can get again. The usual.

I guess I never really asked you about...all the stuff that happens in my future.

[She's very aware of Beau's gaze on her, but she doesn't quite know what to make of it, so she just smiles, even if it doesn't quite reach her eyes.]

Beau, will you just tell me...what happens with me and Fjord?

Oh.

[she is now a little embarrassed to have been staring at her, and she looks away, but there's a little smile on her face. sweet girl.]

I don't really know what all you know,but, uh, you get together. You stay together. You're in looooove. Last I knew you were gonna go sail the seas together.

[Jester listens with a sinking feeling in her stomach. It's just as she'd feared; life outside of the Nameless Isle goes on just as it had before she came here, but she'll never really get to enjoy any of it, because she knows better. She knows that Fjord might love her, but he's not in love with her like he is Molly. Fjord wants to be with Molly, wants to go off and sail the seas with him, and even though he already said Jester could come with, she doesn't know if she'd rather do that or just be on her own.]

Oh. Okay. That's cool.

[Her voice gets tight and high and she's obviously upset and she hates when she's so transparent about it, when it's so much that she can't just smile through it and shrug it off. Jester sucks in a huge breath and disappears under the surface of the water for a few seconds, because she can't deal with her own overwhelming disappointment right now and Beau shouldn't have to either. When she resurfaces, she pushes the water away from her face.]

It's fine. [She gives Beau a quick smile, already back to pushing her feelings down for later, later.] Thanks for filling me in.

[Beau's face is clearly puzzled. She was under the impression this was good news, and this is not Good News Jester.]

Oh, Jes.

[a little awkwardly, she holds out her arms, offering Jester to come to her.]

I don't know what's going on, I thought you'd be happy, why are you, it's okay if you cry I guess?

[Jester deflates a little, turning and trusting herself into the circle of Beau's arms, resting her head against the monk's shoulder. (Careful of her horns, as always.)]

It's fine. I'm not going to cry. It's just...Fjord wants to marry Molly, I'm pretty sure. So I'm going to just...figure out something else. Maybe I'll just stay in Nicodranas with my Mama.

[She's honestly surprisingly calm as she says all of this. Like she's been thinking it over for awhile, which she has.]

[with Jester in her arms it's a little easier, because then at least she can pet her hair. that doesn't involve talking, so she won't say anything stupid.

Probably.]

I mean, where we came from, he really does love you. I saw it, you know?

So I don't...wanna tell you what to do. Things are weird and different here for a lot of reasons, but at home you should do whatever fulfills you, just like here you should do whatever fulfills you, okay? if that means being with Fjord, then be with Fjord. If that means staying with your mama, then stay with your mama. If that means finding someone new who doesn't wanna pick crusty smelly Molly over you, then find someone who doesn't wanna pick crusty smelly Molly over you. Because you're fucking...radiant and special and you deserve to feel radiant and special. Got it?

[Jester lets out a shuddering breath, letting herself relax a little bit against Beau's chest. Deep breaths. In and out. You don't have to run away from your feelings all the time.]

I know he loves me. But Molly will always come first. And I'm happy for them, Beau, I really am. And me and Fjord, we have fun and we care about each other a lot, he's my oldest friend except for Artie! But it isn't the same, you know? And I just get so scared, because—

[Her voice starts to get tight and high and her throat feels like it's closing off as she takes another shuddery breath.]

Fjord has Molly, and Caleb has Essek, and Veth has Yeza, and you have Yasha. Caduceus isn't into that, so that just leaves me. It sounds...so fucking stupid now that I'm saying it out loud, but I just get so scared I'll get left behind! I'll just be...alone, in Nicodranas, forever.

[Beau is very quiet for a moment]

Jessie.

For one thing, I just told you what happens with you and Fjord at home, so you know that's not true, unless you change it.

And, um.

Can I tell you something? About Molly?

It won't be the same.

[She doesn't say anything more than that, because suddenly she has One Fear about the way Beau is bringing Molly up. She pulls away finally, settling back in her seat and bringing her knees up to hug them with her arms.]

...What is it, Beau?

You don't know that, but I know I can't convince you of it. And even if it's not Fjord, you're...fucking...it's like I said. you're radiant and special and super fucking pretty and funny and cute. There's no way you'd be left behind.

[she's quiet, thoughtful, choosing her words carefully. this has never gotten easier, all the times she's explained it.]

When we brought him back--after we killed Lucien--he was weak and sick. He was himself, but he wasn't. And after we cast the Greater Restoration--

[she's careful to say 'we' so as to not give Jester any undue guilt]

He came back as someone else. And that guy was a fucking dick.

Edited 2021-08-03 04:47 (UTC)

Yeah. I...I know, you're probably right.

[She shrugs. She doesn't really want to argue it, because in her mind there's nothing to argue. And anyway, it's being put out of her mind entirely by what Beau says next. She feels her blood run cold.]

He was...someone else? Like...a completely different person?

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beauregard lionett: asking the important questions

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whoops sorry i went off

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